The Knot Has Me Fit to Be Tied

Well, ever since one of my bride's maids turned me onto the knot.com, I've been addicted. It's like a brand new Facebook but without other people or Farmville. The Knot's goal is to help me organize and to make sure I don't forget anything that is absolutely necessary (this ranges from magnetic save-the-date cards to the little napkins with our future initials 'SAD' printed on them in curvacious font).

The Knot tells me how long until the wedding (nine months and five days). Can I turn that off, please? That's a little TMI for one who has yet to act on one single decision pertaining to this wedding. And why is that? Because my dress has to match my friends' dresses in terms of style. I have to make sure I can get the right color in the dress for my friends, not to mention it has to be affordable.

Speaking of affordable, we're still price-checking for a church...The Mister is supposed to be on top of that. (Insert nervous pause here) The Knot feels we should spend a grand total of $130 on the ceremony location, fee, and accessories. The Knot is clearly more delusional than I am. On the other hand, the Knot allotted $2,425.00 of my $5,000 budget on food, booze, and other reception-related consumables. Clearly, the Knot likes to get down.

Also, the Knot feels $50.00 is an appropriate amount to spend on The Mister's wedding band. Sorry, Knot, the Mister and I are going to last, so I would like it if his jewelry symbolizing our committment didn't come out of a coin operated machine at the bowling alley.

The Knot has also budgeted a grand total of $600 for photographer, videographer, and additional prints/videos of the wedding. I know The Knot.com isn't from 1950, so why does it expect me budget like it's 1950? A guy I used to work with at the Vanguard at USA also does wedding photography. Naturally, my first thought was score. I was thinking $500 would be a reasonable price for some snazzy, arty shots of The Mister's and my big day. So, needless to say, I nearly choked on my hookah when my former co-worker/pal announced that the going rate for wedding snaps (no prints included) is $1,000. (Mentally kick self for never developing skill of becoming professional photographer...I could be scamming sooooo many brides right now.) (Not that it's a scam; I think that $1,000 a pretty standard price, but balls. That's a fifth of my wedding budget. It's pretty much all I have in my personal savings account to make a downpayment on house numero uno with The Mister.)

So, who do I listen to? Society? What if they're all over-paying for wedding photos? I mean, for a thousand bucks, I'd rather buy my own super-awesome Nikon and hire a college student who's in graphic design and photography for an additional $250 to take the photos with it (I get great pictures, and a nifty camera to take on my honeymoon). After all, The Mister and I are doing a home-cooked rehearsal dinner (no need to pull out the big guns for that), and as of right now, we're not doing engagement photos because (1) they cost money, and (2) I have no idea what they are for. Maybe the Knot is right. Let's hope so because a grand and no prints seems like an awful lot of swag.

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YAEC (Young Attractive Engaged Couple) actively seeks talented photographer who won't charge us a lot due to lack of experience and/or confidence. Prints preferred. Initial offer $300. Will pay $50 extra for prints.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sit here and enjoy the rest of 1950. So, I says to Mayble, I says....