So, in addition to planning my first and only wedding, I'm also shopping for my first house. I'm thinking of starting a betting pool with myself to see what will be harder to find --the house or the dress. It's a tough bet to make, and I'm the one making all of the decisions. It's like in Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman's Good Omens where life as we know it is compared to a card game played in the dark with faceless cards and the a dealer is the only one who knows the rules and "grins all of the time." The only difference is that even though I'm the dealer, I'm still in the dark. And I'm definitely not grinning.
What makes buying the dress hard
It's my freaking wedding dress. I only get one shot at this thing...like that lucky fan seating in section AA row 14 seat 4 who gets the once-in-a-lifetime chance to throw the football through the mascot's mouth. What happens? Will I make it? Who knows...especially since I plan to punt.
What makes buying the house hard
Well, I'm not the only one making that fun decision. It's me and my financeme who will henceforth be referred to as "The Mister." The Mister and I have decided on the following:
1-location and resale (which I preached from the hilltops until the message sunk in...we're thinking of getting matching tattoos that say 'resale, baby, resale.')
2-Kitchen and garage, our respective hidey holes
3-safety/potential to become unsafe. The Mister and I were mugged last September. Despite being lawful gun-toting/owning citizens, I'd really rather not have to kill some half-witted intruder in my first home (honestly, it would spoil the memories!)
Recently The Mister and I were approved for a higher-than-originally thought home loan amount. I smiled for approximately seven hours straight.
So, now we're expanding our options and looking at spending more money (the American Dream live on, Baby) on our first house. Oh, did I forget to mention that we have to consider what if we have a baby in our house as something to think about? Yeah, that's on the menu, too. If we had a little drooler, where would we put him/her? (Come on, twins!)
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that we have all of our priorities in a basket, so what am I whining about, why can't we find a house? Right? Well, here's the diddy. We're torn between Midtown Mobile and West Mobile, MiMo and WeMo, respectively.
As with anything, there are pros and cons to each...MiMo is lousy with charm, old houses, oak trees, and fun, young married 20 something couples for miles. On the other hand, the houses are older and have less insulation or stability (quick, call Orkin), the streets are arranged --classy, ghetto, classy, ghetto, and the homes are smaller than in WeMo. On the other hand,
WeMo is well, it's West Mobile...it's where people move to die, I mean raise a family. The highlight is Super Target, oh and that Chilis I mentioned earlier. Are you following me? On the other hand, the homes are made of brick, they're much larger, and I could finally play out my fantasy to live like Desperate Housewives but with out the whoring and the occasional murder.
On the plus, The Mister and I do agree on the homes that we've seen (all 50 of them). We can both say with confidence that the number one thing not selling a lot of nice houses is that people do their own contracting work. The Mister calls these homes Willy Wonka Houses because there is usually a tiny stair case leading to a poorly carpeted "upstairs" (former attic) with 12 closets, two or three rooms, and massively un-even walls.
So, tough decisions to make. On the plus, I have until March to find a dress (although, waiting that long might result in stress, and I have three months to find a home). (Hello, Mom?)
Hmmm...well, at least we know what's at stake: my sanity. I bet I can get a house in the nick of time and a dress before November. Any takers?
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