Based on the past two months alone, I think "wedding planner" is the most difficult job in the world (move over, Mr. President). Now, I'm possibly giving this former cheerleader/beauty queen/business major too much credit because I'm working a full time job, planning a class to teach, clipping recipes, and cooking fabulous dinners on top of moving and planning a wedding (Think "I'm a Woman" by Peggy Lee) because I'm like Atlas but with breasts, high heels, and the world is made of Chantilly Lace. I'm sure that if you check "wedding planner" on your taxes every year, you're not trying to write a novel and save the world one NSF grant at a time. Still, planning a wedding is tough.
Right now, my brain is consumed by the following: rehearsal dinner site, reception food, booking reception hall before some other conniving woman gets it, will the editor like my article (unrelated to wedding), oh dear Lord, I need to edit my book (in the far corners of my mind), gotta meet Becca's dad at 7 for dinner and to get the luggage, finish packing for Becca's wedding, finish tidying apartment so Mom doesn't see the hole the hookah burned in the rug when she comes to feed the cats (long story that can be summarized as "Amy's an idiot"), get a slip from Target, so excited...Becca's wedding, no, focus you idiot, music for your wedding....
And then, like an A-bomb, my brain just erupts in a mushroom cloud and I decide to do something totally pointless, like tomorrow's NY Times crossword puzzle from my desk calender or contribute to this blog with absolutely no new and relevant information.
The only thing new --which isn't really that new, is that I hate trying to please people. Pleasing others is like a really bad math equation where you lose every time.
Case and point: Person A is unhappy. Person B is moderately happy, and Person C is happy. I make person A happy. Person A is happy, meanwhile, person B is twice as unhappy as person A was before I made any changes. Person C who was happy initially is now neither happy nor unhappy. Person me is effed.
Ironically, this delightful chain (sans third person) seems to happen entirely in my family tree. Normally, brides are bending over backward to appease their respective Mister's side of the familia, but lucky for me, The Mister has a great family with whom I get along; things are relatively easy going.
My mom is great, too. Mom is funding the honeymoon, the invites, and the reception location. Above and beyond, Moo.
Dad is, well, Dad, and his involvement is limited to getting a tux and walking me down the aisle. (No jorts, Dad.) (By the way, I'll feel really triumphant if I get Dad to do all of that.)
My brother, the Boy, lives in Tallahasse and is studying business and law...he doesn't have time to opine.
This leaves, well, my Oma who loves fresh flowers more than Harry loved Sally. Oma has generously offered to help with the catering for the wedding and the flowers for the reception.
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I could be vastly off on my estimation of things, but catered yummies are not cheap (right now, Oma thinks they're about $1000, but I know the catered yums will be $1500 to $2000 because our "small" wedding isn't that small (big family), so food is going to be a tad pricey. Flowers are ridiculously expensive...even for the wedding itself (my bouquet, bride's bouquets, man flowers, and flowers for our mums), I read that they can be upwards of $750. Gaaaawwwwly. God, I wish we could elope. I don't think The Mister's church permits eloping though.
So, to my Oma who loves flowers, how do I explain that I would prefer her help with catering and not the flowers without hurting her feelings? I feel like by saying anything it would be to bite the hand that feeds you (and decorates you in this case). The Mister and I were already looking to spend at least $500 on decorations between the church and the reception site, and flowers weren't a part of that...they're just too costly.
So, is asking her to not worry about flowers for the reception a good tactical move? Is asking her to put some of that down toward the catering appropriate? And, whyyyyyyy can't we just elope?
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