So, I'm working on the schedule for the class I'm teaching in the fall, and I thankfully have a sample schedule to follow...naturally, it's going to go with some tweaking. The course I'm teaching is a developmental studies course in English, so we're focusing more on grammar and sentence structure than a traditional EH 101 course.
I was a little confused by the professor whose sample syllabus I was borrowing's desire to quiz students on criteria, the syllabus, etc. I know what she's doing: she's trying to guarantee they read the crap so they know what's going on. I'm sorry, but are these people fetal or are they adults attempting to earn a degree in higher education? Sorry, but I wouldn't give middle schoolers a quiz on the syllabus. Learn some responsibility and pay attention. Welcome to adulthood. So, naturally, those quizes are not on my schedule. (Plus, I feel that perfunctory quizzes create an avenue for undeserving students to pass because if you pass the syllabus quiz (gee, that was tough) but flunk say, parts of speech (yes, despite the efforts of second grade teachers in the public school system, some people do not know the parts of speech).
Now, I'm not even at the best part, the part that made me stop in my tracks, carve WTF into the schedule and write this blog. The exact words for the objective in Week 5 are as follows (please remove glass objects or other items you might be include to use against the computer as a weapon after reading this):
"Students will be able to develop a first draft of their descriptive essay. They will be able to write an introduction, three body paragraphs containing topic sentences, and a conclusion."
Oh. My. aldjfaldjflaksjdflasdjflasjdflsjdflajsdflsdj. Are they really suggesting we teach the 5 paragraph essay to these ADULT COLLEGE STUDENTS!?
In all good conscious, I cannot, I will not teach a five paragraph essay. I will teach these people how to write, oh yes, I'll do that, but I will not perpetuate the childishness of the five paragraph essay. Students should stop learning the five paragraph essay and actually learn to write after 5th grade, maybe sooner!
Look, I'm not going to be Grizelda, Leather Whip Toting Master of English to these students. They'll have a fair shot to learn to write so they can spread their little wings and fly onto greener pastures. But, the five paragraph essay? What am I getting into?
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